Riddle: (Q): What is the one thing begging you to take advantage of it?… (LET THAT SIMMER)

“Give it time” they say, “All you need is some time”, “Before you know it, you’ll be right as rain.” Is this even true? I call bullshit. Also, who are ‘they’? Lemme break it to ya… Time is not your friend. It does not discriminate; it is no respecter of person. Time moves on with or without you. But understand this; time is not your nemesis either & until you come to terms with how to harness & work with time instead of against it, you’ll never gain the results you’re aiming for. You’ll always end up being angry at time for passing you by, for never having enough of it, or for slipping just outside your grasp, basically blaming time for the things you failed to achieve. It’s easy to shirk the blame. We use anything, a-ny-thing to deflect from our lack of responsibility, fear of confrontation & callous laziness; even time. 

Psst: The secret lies in how we choose to wield the time allotted to us. 

If we choose to render ourselves helpless & succumb to the on-rushed sortie of heartbreak, disappointment, rejection or loss, we are doing ourselves the biggest injustice, ever. Time moves on & oftentimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we’re moving on along with it, that we’re maturing because our physical bodies continue aging with each passing moment. Well, here’s a novel view; gray hairs do not necessarily equate to wisdom. “Cue the gasp!” They are mainly just signs of physical, anatomical decay. At the core of it all, we’re standing still. DEAD STILL. Still alive but barely breathing. We are fixed in the same position where heartbreak left us. We are stuck, we’ve just pressed the pause button on our reality. Now hear me, there is no right or wrong way to do this, but if we do not effectively use the time so graciously conferred to us, doing something, anything to evolve & heal, & kick our asses out of our inertia, we might as well say to life; “I am playing dead.” – “playing possum” at best.

Now don’t get it twisted, I am not saying “get on with it, snap out of it, 1,2,3 we’re back in the room of life.” No, I’m trying to drive home a point that we can make time for all things & be pioneers to our own healing & the acceleration of our own lives. You are more effective when you bust the hurt wide open & sink into the discomfort head first. But here’s the kicker, you gotta timebox it. It’s like taking a Nordic ice bath, in which there is no time to think about the cold. The only totem securing your connection back to your reality is to embrace the self-belief that your body will acclimatize to the externally freezing temperatures after submergence & then calibrate itself back to the homeostasis which you’re accustomed to, after emerging out of the icy water. The efficacy of this method to healing, yields great results, because with this newfound knowledge of self-agency, we’re now more in control. Knowledge & the application of knowledge is power. We can now employ this new approach. We can now write our own, all-inclusive, self-management induction manual, & now take ourselves seriously. We can decide to stop cheating ourselves out of real, pure, quintessential healing & growth & toss out the diluted, watered down, short-lived, superficial, antiquated delusions that we’ve bought into in the past. We can now stop fooling ourselves into believing that after a month or two, when we feel ‘OK’, that we’ve got this healing thing down, that we’re all better.’ That’s only just the beginning, now the consistency & self-commitment to continue on this journey after we’ve gotten used to this new flow, kicks in. It’s easy to conn ourselves when you start out on this trip. The initial sting is gone & now we feel like we’ve got the hang of it & BAM, we get hit again. This is why it’s important to stay the course even after you start feeling ok! 

Now, we can attend to all facets of who we are, dispensing unadulterated, concentrated time to each task & pleasure, without distractions. We can now “eat our vegetables raw”, taking in all the nutrients & minerals without the loss of any of its power. When we show up fully even in our pain, we short circuit the time spent there. The attitude in which we experience healing determines how long we’re going to stay hurt. Don’t waste your pain, but don’t waste your time either. Learn how to effectively utilize the time while simultaneously nosediving into the discomfort of hurt, disappointment, rejection or loss & the lesson there is within it to gain. Also keep this top of mind, taking a break is not wasting time. This is time needed to recoup, regroup & regenerate the cells because the expending of energy comes with the process of building a stronger character through healing from trauma & daily life in general, be it at work, with your family, socializing etc. Even this experience should be lived through fully. Fully encompass yourself in your break. Force yourself to enjoy the break. It is not a guilty pleasure; it is a commodity.

And this, ladies & gentlemen, succinctly describes, how we will engage, find the synergy & make time a partner rather than an opponent.

Check-in with yourself by asking these questions: 

What am I doing with my time? Am I reading? Educating myself? Am I getting & staying active? Am I loving myself the way I want to be loved? Am I propelling my life forward? Am I doing those small things that make my life easier? Am I doing the shadow work? Am I eating better? Drinking more water? Getting enough sleep? Am I active in my consciousness? Am I maintaining a relationship with my consortium of supporters? Am I consistent with my disciplines? (Feel free to add to this list at your discretion).

Riddle (A): …. TIME!

Dear Father Time, 

I apologize for NOT taking advantage of you.

Candice