Candice Malander
Have you ever been in a situation where hours or days after you’ve engaged in a hard or uncomfortable discussion, argument, fight or disagreement, you find yourself replaying this heated debate. You beat yourself up about things that you ‘should have’, ‘could have’ or ‘would have’ said? This reality is frustrating & feels disempowering because most times to yourself you seem incompetent or dull-witted or like a hopeless failure. It’s
Candice Malander
As many of you may or may not know, I moved to China a few months ago. I really needed a change. I was due one. I needed a radical uprooting. I finished up my studies, tied up a few loose ends & did the necessary mending to broken fences with family & friends, healed up enough to utilise my new strengths & decided it was time. Time to move
Candice Malander
“The scab” First things first. No, we’re not gonna rush this thing. We are going to be fully present, & pay unadulterated, undiluted attention to every step of the piecing back of our characters & hearts. Here, we need to firstly allow the wound to close just enough for a ‘blood clot’ to form. Figuratively, I would see that as regulating & pacifying the internal world, reconditioning the nervous system
Candice Malander
What are they? Well according to the internet, these are wounds or injuries made by a bullet or small enough missile passing through & out of the body. Pretty graphic huh?! But that is what it is. So, imagine you find yourself in the middle of an intense gun fight & you get hit in the crossfire. The adrenaline pumping through you masks any physical feeling, & you remain unaware.
Candice Malander
Keep in mind that we’re in 2024, so street slang, trending catch phrases or ‘sayings’ on social media are ever-changing & on the up. “Now, if only there was a way to monetize these ‘concepts’, like they did with cryptocurrency or NFTs mmmmmm…” she says expressing a curious stare into the distance, while caressing her imaginary beard. OK I digress LOL …. We’ve now progressed to calling people trash; “He
Candice Malander
I dunno about you, but it really hurts me when I’m being falsely accused. And I mean, not just accused but almost mercilessly flogged into submission. The other person point blankly, accuses you & undoubtedly believes something to be true about whatever the given situation is. It is soul crushing, devastating & actually just down right brutal to be treated in that way, especially when you’re doing the most to
Candice Malander
I’d probably have been the poster-child for body dysmorphia disease, if it hadn’t been for inner enlightenment, floodlighting this mental disease. The behind the scenes gremlins, tinkering with my perception, were finally exposed. A rude awakening to say the least. What does BDD look like? According to google, “the symptoms of BDD include compulsively checking the perceived flaw, attempting to minimize the appearance of the perceived flaw by covering it with
Candice Malander
Riddle: (Q): What is the one thing begging you to take advantage of it?… (LET THAT SIMMER) “Give it time” they say, “All you need is some time”, “Before you know it, you’ll be right as rain.” Is this even true? I call bullshit. Also, who are ‘they’? Lemme break it to ya… Time is not your friend. It does not discriminate; it is no respecter of person. Time moves
Candice Malander
Oh, my goodness, saying “no” used to leave me writhing & completely riddled with guilt, to the point where I would volunteer unsolicited explanations, rambling on & on. I would even feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead, depending on how deep I found myself plummeting into my justifications. What a waste of time & energy. “Just say NO, Can” – cue the eyeroll. As a recovering ‘people pleaser’,
Candice Malander
3 of the most humbling words one could utter. Humbling; let’s look at that word again, it reads ‘humbling’, not ‘humiliating’. There’s a definite difference between them, which we misconstrue sometimes with regards to this topic, much to my chagrin, I humanly admit. But let’s first look at the word ‘help’. What is help, & why is it sometimes deemed as a weakness when we reach out & ask for